5.5 going on 15

Disclaimer : If you don't want to hear totally nonobjective ramblings of a proud Mummy. Don't read any further...

A couple of things happened with the kid this week that I just have to record for posterity. Am still trying to work out how I should react to them, but have decided that for the time being, I'll just channel Yoda (small and silent unless he has something profound to say)...

1) Kiddo has 2 favourite dresses and a shirt/shorts combo that she will wear in preference to absolutely anything else. I'm not kidding. We've tried hiding them, delaying the washing... Nothing works. She will very calmly ask the maid to please wash it today so she can wear it tomorrow. Anyway, I was gazing upon her stuffed wardrobe, eyeing the lovely (expensive) clothes she has and decided that it was time for a little chat about this clothes issue. We went through colours ('it's not about the colour, mom'), flowers ('I just like the flowers on these, mom'), beads ('this one has pretty beads')... Finally, she just looked at me and said, 'Mom, you just can't POSSIBLY persuade me to change my mind...' Accompanied by an exasperated eye roll!! Uh. Dumbstruck mummy. Do I laugh at the statement, or yell about the eye rolling? That night The Man and I had a little discussion on how we would have worded this differently... 'Oi! I'm not changing my mind-lah!' was the general consensus on how we would have responded. Proud mummy was on one hand thinking what a grammatically elegant statement that was, on the other thinking 'Oh no, my kid can out-talk me at 5 and a half!! And what's with the whole eye rolling thing?! '

2) I've always known that kiddo is an advanced reader. After all, she read our Bill Bryson Aussie commentary when she ran out of books on holiday. So I decided to test her using the Sonlight homeschool reading assessment. My biggest worry is always selecting books with the appropriate content for a 5-6 year old. And Sonlight does provide some guidelines on book selection based on age/level. So there we were, reading through lists of words that are supposed to gauge reading readiness. 5 minutes later, kiddo had read all the words including those for level 7 (roughly age 13). The test stops there as beyond that, ability is no longer the limiting factor. Again, befuddled mummy. Then she turned to me and said, 'Mom, what's dominion, and sundry, and capillary and condescend...' Out of the 10 words, she understood none of them!! Ok, ok, some of them even I would have trouble explaining, but my most immediate thought was, 'Crap, what happens if she hasn't understood ANY of the gajillion books we've spent so much money on??' Response to my suddenly rabid insistence that she ask my about ANY word she doesn't understand from now on, 'But I haven't come across a word I don't know in a really long time mom.' So, I've decided that I shall be guided by the Sonlight curriculum and we shall have 'together' reading time so I can make sure she understands at least some of what she reads.

After all this,I feel like a totally inadequate mother. Either I'm complaining she's too mature and out talking me, or that she behaving like a toddler and whining. Poor kid...

I can picture Yoda in my head, perching upon a rock, swivelly ears, walking stick, googly eyes... 'Calm, you must be... For, though smart, child, she be...'

Randon Musings....

Why is it if I give my life for my family I'm a martyr?
Why do I get called overprotective if I'm concerned for my child?

Why is being godly the same as being holier than thou?
And why am I fussy if I choose to be particular?

Being aware of my health REALLY doesn't make my a hypochondriac,
And how does being cautious of strangers mean I'm paranoid?

Does wanting the best for myself mean that I'm selfish?
Does wanting the best for my child mean that I'm demanding?

If my methods of organization differ from yours, why am I the messy one?
If I enjoy certain things done a certain way, how does that make me obsessive-compulsive?

If you speak your mind, you're direct;
If I speak my mind, I'm rude.

How come when you refuse to be budged you're persistent,
but when I refuse I'm obstinate?

When you think, you're a philosopher;
When I think, I'm neurotic.

So if I'm a thinking, concerned, cautious, stay-at-home-mom;
Does that then mean I'm a neurotic, overprotective, paranoid martyr...?

Japan part II : The skiing

View of the main Hirafu runs at night

For The Man and I, this was the second time we had been skiing. First time was in Maria Alm, Austria, and great fun, but it was end of the season, so we had more slush than snow and powder was something we used to prevent chafing. Also, The Man had a rather amusing encounter with our previous ski instructor that put him off group lessons. Our previous ski instructor, to put it mildly, was a hunk. Very, very hunky... He was great with the ladies of the group, but when my big baby fell over, promptly skied up to him and said, 'S*** happens' and skied off again! Hilarious. Less so for my subcoordinated (is uncoordinated more rude? Hmmm...) spouse. So, it's been 7 years since we've donned those cement blocks masquerading as ski boots, and wielded the mighty rapiers of doom... i.e. ski poles.

Well, for those new (or old, or anywhere in between) to the sport, I have 2 words for you. Brian Findlay (http://www.instructoracademy.com). 'Nuff said. Instructor of instructors. The man with the never ending repertoire of analogies from which surely something will trigger the 'Ah-ha!' light bulb moment for you. The man who got my malcoordinated (sound better?) hubby swishing down the slopes with no spills, thrills or wipe outs. Unlike the last time where it was harder to find a non-painful patch of skin than green grass in the arctic circle.

We were pretty hopeless when we met up with him for the first time. Decked out in our new goggles and rented gear (yup, this time we had helmets. Made everything worse. Like I couldn't already see and hear well enough, had to add a handicap...), we did the stiff legged, hip rolling, step, drag walk that seasoned skiers pull off with such panache. Except we looked like marionettes operated by a puppeteer who'd tipped one too many the night before. So there we were, students of the instructor's instructor. I didn't even bother trying to look like I belonged. Anyone who'd seen us schlepping across the snow dragging our skis and poles, and whamming ourselves on the (thankfully helmeted) heads would've been able to tell we were rank amateurs. No class, no style. But I can tell you within the 1st 5mins that helmets are a necessity!!

Then he said the other side of the mountain was better, he'd drive us there. More awkward shuffling. And we piled into his van. Note to self, don't do up the ski boots till you're certain it's time to put the skis on. When you're as short as I am, fastened ski boots mean virtually no movement below the knee. Walking is a weird rocking from heel to toe that make it virtually impossible to climb into a van. I essentially flung myself in full body and dragged myself into a sitting position. Kind of like a seal dragging itself up the beach. And NOT the cute fluffy baby seals at that. Think blubber, flopping, olympic weight lifter grunts...

Reaching our destination, which was only about 5mins away (everything in Hirafu Village is about 5 mins away from everything else), we piled out of the van (I mean that literally). Brian gave us a few refresher tips, and said, 'Well, you know how to snow plow right? Let's head to the lifts!' Waaiiiitttt!!!! Too late. Off he went and we had to follow. I was just praying that I'd a)get there without falling (too embarrassing) b) not knock anyone done in the process (too embarrassing) c) just get there... Well, there's something to be said for jumping in the deep end. Both of us got there without falling, hitting anyone, running into anything... Not very gracefully perhaps, but get there we did. Whew, now for the next step, getting up the ski lift...

This is simple for seasoned skiers. Nothing of great import. Part of daily life. A necessary pause in life that lets them get to the next stage of swishing gracefully down pristine white slopes. Not so for us. More like a stumbling swish, swish trying madly to get to the green line before the chair comes and bashes you behind the knees. Then it's followed by an ungraceful flop into the chair while trying to deal with poles that really want to go somewhere else, skis that would like to cross and wham your seat partner's shins (Imagine 2 beginners on together. Seen Laurel and Hardy?), and the ubiquitous bum shuffle you have to do 'cause you didn't realize you sat right on the edge of a (rapidly) moving seat that is now 500ft (I exaggerate, but it FELT like that) above the ground. Not to mention, NO SEATBELTS (Obviously the higher ones do, but the ones you go up as a beginner don't). Then just as you're about to get comfy, the weight of the boots and skis feel like they're about to yank your feet off at the ankles... Before you know it, you're at the top. Now you have to coordinate standing up at the line, skiing straight down, making sure your weapons don't brain someone in the process, and, most importantly, GETTING OUT OF THE WAY! Then comes the fun part. Trying to get down a slope standing on 2 planks and holding oversized chopsticks. Unbelievable that it can actually be fun!

All in all we had 3 half days with Brian, kiddo had the other halves. Bringing us to a total of 3 full days. Brian's ski school only does private lessons. So I guess you could have a group of pals doing it together, but we found it perfect for us since we were equally inept, and group lessons tended to leave us feeling rather dissatisfied. Kinda like standing at a pub trying to order a drink and the bartender gives you a sprite when you asked for a spritzer. Then has no time to retake your order...

In any case we had an awesome time. Not to mention being thoroughly entertained by Brian who is clearly highly in demand as a ski instructor and has done heliski tours and been privately flown all over the world to give private lessons etc. Like I said, his skills were totally wasted on us. Still, he's been in Niseko for yonks, and had lots of very interesting little snippets of information for us. Not to mention speaking perfect Japanese! Hats off, kowtow, you get what I mean. In 1 day we were as good as we were after 3 days before. We'd also only fallen over twice each. More topples than the screaming, flailing, flashes of your life thing that happened previously. After 2 days, we were as good as we had been after a week. And after the 3 days, we were better than we could've possibly have imagined. We were parallel skiing!! Kinda...ish... Still, yay!!


Brian and the kid on a ski lift


Now onto the kiddy's experience. For the first 3 days, we stuck her in day care when we were having lessons. It was about USD25 for either the morning or the afternoon sessions. These were run by the large hotels and there tended to be very few kids in there. Kiddo put up with it, but after the first day questioned why she had to be there since she wasn't 'a baby'. Tough luck kid, learn to ski and you can be out with us, be belligerent about learning and stay with the babies! Monster mummy rears her head...

Brian was phenomenal with the kid. He started by sticking her on one ski, telling her they were her sharks and scooting her off with him to find food for them. There was something about shark bellies and happy sharks and all. Wasn't listening to the details, but kiddo was burbling on about it for ages after, so whatever it was, it worked. So there they were, skiers were sharks and snowboarders were whales. All of a sudden... 'Auntie N!! She's a white whale' was announced at the top of a piping little voice. ACK!! Oh earth swallow me now... That was unexpected and MORTIFYING!! Luckily N has a good sense of humor and just laughed it off. Not so funny were the declarations of, 'There's a purple/ red/ black whale...'



There were a few worrying moments for daddy and mummy throughout her lessons. We saw the death of all further ski holidays when she mournfully said to Brian, 'Uncle Brian, my sharks aren't hungry anymore. Can we build a snowman instead?' I could see The Man cringing. At USD450 for 5 hours a day of private instruction, this would probably be the most expensive snowman in history... Still, she ended her journal entry for the day with 'I love skiing!' Totally worth it in my mind.


First 2 days were touch and go for the kid. I could see her wavering between 'Hate it, never want to do it again' and 'It's ok, but not my first choice'. Poor Brian spent those 2 days with her pretty exclusively skiing backwards since she wouldn't move without him in front of her. Nail biting for the parents who already had visions of more ski holidays, custom ski boots, etc etc. Not to mention we'd already plonked down the GDP of a small country on goggles, gloves, winter boots for her... She kept us hanging for 2 whole days. What a tease. Then on the third day, all of a sudden it was 'Watch me!! I can go FAST!'. It was a 'whew'/ 'crap' moment. 'Whew' because next year is HAPPENING people! 'Crap' because I now had visions of her turning into a speed demon... Just think of it... Motor bikes, race cars.. oh NO!! Biker boyfriend!!! *swoon* For obvious reasons I didn't mention any of this to my feet on the ground spouse, he might have just tried to smack some sense into me...

Last day of skiing was a revelation. Our little nervous Nellie was zooming down the hill and skidding to a stop 6 inches in front of other skiers. We saw lots of 'startled deer in front of headlight' looks. All were incredibly understanding and seemed more amused than anything. Inside they were probably thinking what an undisciplined brat the kid was. With parents that had obviously no control over her. They certainly weren't far wrong. We have videos of her barreling down the hill with me racing behind yelling, 'Turn!! Stop!! Slow down!!' Kiddo's reply was, 'Why? I know how to stop...' Grrr. Well, I certainly feel like I spent the whole morning apologizing. Though realistically, since she only did the run 5 times, it can't have been that much.

You may wonder why I haven't posted much on the other members of our little group. Well, JT the black whale, and L and P the sharks were in a totally different league. They were talking about going across the ridge and through trees... We never really saw them. Just a bit in the morning and then again for dinner. Last few days, it was dinner capped off with monopoly deal. Action, action!!

That pretty much sums up our experience. We were there from the 22nd of Feb till the 28th of Feb. To us the snow was great, but apparently it was pretty late in the season and wasn't powder. We heard lots of people say that Niseko was THE place to be for powder snow. So next year we'll be aiming to get there earlier in the season. You can bet the first person we call after making our accommodation reservations will be Brian.

PS : Brian's academy also has the same kind of private lessons for snowboarders. After 2 days of abuse to her derriere, N finally hired the snowboard equivalent of Brian. She too ended up singing his praises...