Race throught the last month

The last month has been very, very hectic... Hong Kong for 4 days, our maid sacking herself (don't ask, a very long and winding road leading to nowhere), a week of being 'mummy-maid', capped by almost 2 fabulous weeks in Japan. Am in the process of downloading the photos. And when I do, it'll be skiing, Disneyland and FOOD!! From now on Japan=Food. Till then...!

I have also come to a conclusion... It is virtually impossible to satisfy your family. No matter what you do as a stay-at-home mom, it will never be enough. When we didn't have the maid, it was endless complaints of laundry taking a long time, missing items, stuff not cleaned up to standard, me being tired, me being in a bad mood (Kiddo devised a 'mood monitor', with 4 options for angry, so she wouldn't have to ask me how I felt 'cause sometimes mummy, your face is just like that, not happy, not sad...' *slap forehead*)... When we DID have the maid, it was complaints about the maid misplacing things, not doing something or the other... Sigh... I give up. 6 of one, half a dozen of the other. Sometime I really want to do the whole Exorcist head spinning thing, then maybe I won't get bugged so much!! Arrrggghhh! As a friend said to me, 'They get used to being pampered and having you deal with everything.' Well, the new maid just started work today. From now on , if I get anymore complaints, I shall say, 'Tough. Do it yourself!'

By the way, I DO love my family...

Here we go again

It coming up to the end of our 2 year lease on our Kemang house. We've been here officially for 2 years now. The search for a new place begins again...

Here in Jakarta, leases are signed for at least 2 years with payment in advance. That's the full 2 years rental upfront. No moolah, no house... Thank goodness for employers that pay first and then deduct monthly.

So, 2 years in a house. We've decided that our next place will be an apartment. The house is lovely, but the Kemang traffic is soul destroying. As Mr.D, my go-to guide is fond of saying, there will always be traffic jams in Jakarta. It's a fact of life. But Kemang traffic is not only unpredictable, but so bad that if you come out and there's no congestion, you feel a little suspicious that you're the only one missing some huge event.

Another thing about houses is the staffing issue. The staff have their separate quarters. That's just standard for Jakarta houses. In this current house, the staff area is downstairs, and I rarely go down. Occasionally I will pop my head down only to be greeted by strange male voices. Yikes. I freely admit I'm not the most courageous of people. When I worked in London, I was the only A+E doctor I know who ran away from a patient who's fist seemed to have an attraction for my face (ok, so he was drunk). Anyhow, strange men in my home freak me out. When I call the maid up, it's always 'my husband', 'my son', 'my other son' blah blah... Enough already! At least in an apartment you can tell security not to let anyone but the maid up. Big plus point.

The other thing we miss is the sense of community. This particular compound doesn't seem to have many kids at all. And they're either much older, or much younger than little miss. There's also a limit to the number of times I can wander over to AL's house. She hasn't started drawing the curtains when I walk up the driveway yet, but let's not risk it...

In a nutshell, my 'current' top 3 issues in apartment hunting : Security, community, staff problems.

Our lovely agent T took me round some houses today. Gorgeous in the typically overblown, lavishness of Jakarta houses. One was not too bad, 3 bedrooms, a large sitting room, large extra multipurpose room (craft room, of course), large open kitchen-dining room. Huge garden with lap pool. Only downside was only the master bedroom has an onsuite bathroom. Meaning kiddo would have to go through 2 doors to reach the bathroom at night. While bypassing the stairs AND the master bedroom door. A detour to either is NOT ok at 3am.

The next house was totally a show piece The agent told me with a grin that it is a good house to look at, but she didn't think I would be renting it. HUGE. 3 levels plus roof garden. Pool on a deck outside the living and master rooms. Downstairs wet kitchen connected to upstairs dining room (that has it's own dry kitchen!). Looked around for the little tinkling bell Victorian ladies used to summon 'cookie' but I guess in a house like that an intercom would be more the thing. Not to mention the entryway (which I thought was the living room except, ugh horrid electrical box on the wall!) and activity room that were both the size of my KL living room. Whew. One way glass windows all around... Something like 8 bathrooms. Every door that looked a little out of place was a bathroom. It's almost like the owner just shoved bathrooms in spaces so they wouldn't be empty. Under the stairs, between oddly aligned walls... Still, if kiddo were 10, I would seriously consider it. The rental was not that much higher than the apartment we looked at. And imagine, sunset, walking from the bedroom straight to the pool with a G+T in hand, billowing white kaftan... Sigh. The fantasy kinda sputters out there 'cause other houses and the contractors on the house opposite can see right onto the pool deck. So no white kaftan or G+Ts from the bedroom in any case. Oh well.

The quest shall continue...

Nanny diaries

One thing I really had to get used to when we first got here to Jakarta was the '1 child 1 nanny' policy many of the families here subscribe to. I personally have nothing against nannies, in fact The Man and I do use a part time nanny on occasion when we feel like an evening out. The problem arises, though when families stop being able to function without their 'pengasuh', or when the kids actually prefer their nanny to their parents. Walking around the malls you will see dozens of uniform clad ladies. From what I can tell, their job is to feed, entertain, carry and supervise their charges. You will frequently see a poor beleaguered nanny chasing a kid around who has never been taught that meal times mean sitting in your chair till you're done! I have shivers every time we eat out, just anticipating a disaster where some waiter dumps hot food onto a kid. Whose fault will it be then? The waiter? The nanny? The kid? Surely not the parents...!?

A local friend of mine (an aberration who only uses her nanny to do the school run and when she's working) once said to me that nannies here try and foster the child's dependence on them. Their version of job security. If neither you nor your child can function without them, then you're never going to get rid of them are you. And it gets worse as the kid gets older. Witness the number of kids in restaurants still being spoon fed by their nannies. Yeesh. The way I see it, if a kid is old enough to use a PSP, he/ she is old enough to feed themself. According to another friend, she caught her nanny feeding the kid when she specifically asked her to let the kid do it himself. When confronted, the reply was, 'Dia tidak mau...' (He didn't want to). Ookaaayyy... who's the boss here? The other thing that really gets to me is the constant shoving of food down the gaping maws of chubby kids. Chicken or egg scenario... Are they chubby because food has been used as a pacifier, or do they eat like walking garbage disposals because they're already chubby and need more fuel? It really gets to me. PEOPLE!! No need to feed your kid out of meal times!! A snack occasionally is fine if you anticipate a late meal or if the kid has been very active, but there is no need to offer food every time the kid stops talking, or gets whiney, or gets tired, or gets bored, or simple behaves like kids do... Especially not with sweeties and chocolates anyway. All you end up doing is conditioning your kid to need and crave the sugar high. Not to mention the bad teeth. And the childhood obesity... If necessary, use fruit. I hesitate to even say kiddy biscuits because considering the volume I see consumed, just give them spoonfuls of sugar, why don't you...

When I dropped the kiddo off today, I saw some bigger (at least my height, so they would have had to be at least 10) kids who were accompanied by a companion. 2 kids in the back, 'companion' and driver in the front, who then rushed out of the car when it stopped to help unload the bags and stuff. OY! Do it yourselves!! The staff are NOT your slaves no matter how much money your parents have!! I overheard one parent agitatedly insisting that her nanny be allowed into the boys changing room during school hours to help her 7 yr old change into his swim trunks. Please spare me... That's just too much. Swim trunks!!! Not even the full body suits some of the other kids use. You mean to tell me he can't even put his briefs on himself?!? 7 and the nanny is still dressing him from the skin up?? School policy is NO ONE is allowed on the premises during school hours without a very good reason. That, is NOT one... I mean, bad enough that all the schools I've seen have special staff areas for nannies AND drivers to wait. Yes... Some families do the '1 nanny, 1 driver, 1 kid' thing too.

Ok. Enough ranting. Hubs and I just get really annoyed when we see kids running roughshod over their nannies while their parents just ignore everything going on. Nannies are well and good, there is definitely a place for them. But parents still need to be involved, right?! We did consider getting a nanny to do the school run (which takes me 3-4hrs everyday), but in the end, forget it. Sink or swim kiddo.. sink or swim...

PS I've found that for now, I actually quite enjoy the school run. If and when I get fed up of it, I think the marvelous Mr.D will be able to cope admirably on his own. Good man...

PPS Just to end with a little anecdote... A friend of a friend once took his 3 kids out together with the nanny to give his ill wife a little break. This chap was totally against the use of nanny uniforms, especially since they had little labels on the arm saying 'nanny' or 'governess' (not kidding! Not much governing goes on though...). He felt they were demeaning. Well, nanny dearest tried to pass the kids off as her own and daddy as her Bule (white) husband. Not realizing that 'mister' understood Bahasa quite well though never spoke it. You can guess what happened next... Poor recovering mummy was instructed to go out immediately to get a uniform (you can buy these in any store) for the upstart. On top of that, he wanted 'nanny' embroided onto the back too!

Mr.D: A law unto himself

Since I wrote the last post, I thought I'd do one on Mr.D our driver. He's worked for us for 2 years, has 3 kids all 7 years apart and is genuinely a very nice guy. Just as a quick example, when the Ritz and Marriot bombs went off a few months ago, he had actually just dropped Hubs at work and was on his way back to the house. Upon hearing the news, he did an about turn and went straight back to the office calling Hubs to say he was waiting downstairs if Sir wanted to go home straightaway. Unfortunately Sir didn't. Sir also missed his plane back to KL that day leaving madam fuming! But that's another story...

So, yes, Mr.D, wonderful chap. But he has some really strange interpretations of traffic law. Most baffling is how he uses traffic lights. How difficult can that be? I hear you say. And 'he uses'? Must be a grammatical error, you say again. Under usual circumstances I would agree. I mean, red=stop, amber=stop asap (or go faster if you're Malaysian), green=go. Basic highway code. Not for Mr.D!! For him, traffic lights work like this... Red=Stop if it's convenient. But go if it's a jam, otherwise you'll never get a chance to go anyway. Go if there are no cars because there's no point stopping anyway. Oh, and it doesn't apply if you're turning left or if you're turning either direction while on a one way street. Amber=go. Green=go. In other words, go as and when you like. It used to have me at the edge of the seat yelling, 'Berhenti, berhenti!!' (Stop, stop). But now, after many months and much futility, I have decided that I shall just ignore it. He just laughs at me anyway.

The next thing is the whole flashy high-lights thing he does. If the car in front stops, he flashes the lights. If he thinks they should be going faster and aren't, he flashes. If they slow down, he flashes. If he's in a hurry and joins the back of a queue, he flashes. I tried counting how many times he flashed the head lights for one 10min journey. Lost count. Couldn't keep up. I have to say though, all the other drivers on the road do it too, so it's hard to say if it's just him or a Jakarta phenomenon. You have to get used to the 'chicka-chicka-chicka' sound pretty quickly though, or go crazy. At least it's not the horns....

All in all, despite his little foibles. We haven't any serious dings on the car. The Man put a couple on there, but they are NOT TO BE SPOKEN OF. Got hit by a golf ball while driving past the golf range, but one can hardly blame that on him. So... Carry on Jeeves, or in this case, Drive on Mr.D...