The ongoing mozzie battle

Jakarta = mosquitoes. No escaping that undeniable fact. There are days I sit on my bed at night and point out all my bites to The Man. Usually he's reading his Triathlon magazine and isn't even listening... But so far, the record is 27 bites. Yup. I counted them all twice to make sure. Kiddo's record so far is 15. That was when we first arrived here. Hence our ongoing battle...

We've tried most remedies, including the esoteric ones you read about on the net. Some actually do work! But as I sit here scratching my fifth bite of the evening , I realize that my goal is actually to protect the kiddo. I've pretty much acknowledged that the mozzies have me beat. 'Sweet blood' the folks say. I'm probably the best mozzie repellent you could have. Put me anywhere within 5 feet of you and I guarantee none will bite you. They'll all come for me.

Anyway, getting back to anti-moz solutions. I've tried to include everything that worked for me. If anyone has anything else, please, PLEASE speak up. As they say in Defender Chronicles, 'We may have lost the battle, but we can STILL win the war!!' (Yes, I agree, I'm somewhat obsessed with that game)

Checking the house for stagnant water
When we first moved here, we used to get attacked by swarms of mosquitoes. Nothing we did worked. Nothing. I looked over the whole house, but there were no empty flower pots or buckets. I was stumped. Then came the water leak into the service area. It was eventually traced to the air well that we weren't using. When they scooped up the pretty, white, decorative stones, I saw 6 inches of soaking wet mud. Yes, MUD! Cue swarms of mozzies headed straight for me. Well, Madam legged it straight for the car yelling, 'Tak mau batu!! Buang semua batu dalam rumah!! Lumpur juga!!' (Don't want stones! Throw away all the stones in the house! Mud too!) For sure they thought I had lost it, but hey, no way was I sticking around to see if the mozzies would pick me over the work men... Well, no more swarms after that, just insidious sneak attacks mixed in with some lightning strikes.

Electrified mosquito bats
This is sanctioned violence at it's best. The bats are rechargeable, and when you hit an insect it gives this really satisfying pffffsszzzttt sound accompanied by a mini explosion (the more blood sucked, the bigger the explosion). Hah! Die you bloodsucking spawn of evil, die!!! In Hubby's hands though, it's a weapon to rival a light saber. Witness the lunging and swiping as he attacks the little blighters... mosquitos, flies, whatever... bring 'em on. Then he bounces (flies usually) them on the bat a few times... pfffzzt, pffzt, fzttt, zzt... spark, spark, spark. And looks up with this beatific smile. 'I got one, Babes' Huh. I'd be cowering under the table by then... People, word of warning, it bloody HURTS to get hit by one of those things!!! I DON'T CARE if it's an accident!!!

Mosquito repellent
For kiddo we use Zwitsal, which contains citronella. DEET free. Slather it on many, many times a day and usually there won't be many bites. But you have to keep up with it. Advantage is it soothes the already existing bites too. For us adults, we used to use Off. But it contains DEET. Jungle formula, if you can get it, is great. There are various roll on formulations. Generally they're quite effective if you remember to keep applying. I didn't like the idea of having kiddo slathered in chemicals all day, so the search went on for something else.

Mozzie patches and bands
Right now, this is our method of choice. I stick a MozzOut patch on her uniform before school and it keeps her bite free there. Although the patch supposedly stays effective for 8 hours, I've found that a new one after school will take her through to bedtime. So I reckon 5-6 hours max. They cost about Rp50,000 for 24. Available at Dharmawangsa Square. The band I bought at Mothercare also seems pretty good. It's bright pink, so kiddo's more than happy to wear it. Around her wrist, or ankle, or dangling from some toy... Smells really strong though (not unpleasant, just eye wateringly strong). I'm pretty sensitive to smells, and it was just too strong for me.

Sound wave pest repellents
In KL, there are these little gadgets for sale, apparently they emit a sound wave that humans can't hear, but that disrupt the nervous system of pests. Including rats! Well, we have them everywhere. It seemed to work really well in KL, but I'm less convinced it's actually beneficial here. No real difference to my spot count with and without. Ditto for the key chain version that you can hang on yourself when you go outdoors. We do it anyway, just in case, but even when I forget, there aren't any more or less bites on the kid.

Mosquito nets
There is no doubt these work. You can get beautiful drapy ones that hang from the ceiling and make your bed look all princessey, but beware the dust trapping, mozzie trapping, and tripping that can happen. Also if it doesn't hang well, the mozzies can get in anyway. Totally not an option for dust sensitive, asthmatic kiddo. Until we found the Javan bed canopy... This is the ultimate!! A tent-like mozzie net that folds into a circle (yay for holidays!) and springs out like a tent (yay, no folds to trap anything!). It sits snug on top of the bed (single, queen AND king sizes), is accessed by zippered openings on each side and has the added advantage of stopping a restless sleeper from hitting the floor. Although I'm sure if you rolled fully against the side, the floor would be the final destination anyway, though perhaps a prolonged sinking rather than a crash. Initially we had some toilet emergencies while kiddo got used to the whole zipper system, but we seem to be over that. So now I might only occasionally hear the zipper through the monitor as she's goes about her way in the middle of the night.

Light bug traps
Another fantastic invention. Varying sizes. Usually a uv light followed by a fan underneath and a bug reservoir. They're great. You can get super big ones, or cutesy animal ones like kiddo has in her bedroom. Doubles as a night light too. We empty them out periodically, and although I would say kiddo has the most mozzie free room in the house, we still get at least a dozen or so in there at every check.


Plug in chemical emitters
These are the ones where you plug the liquid canister into the wall or use the hot plate and chemical mat. Kiddo is sensitive to the liquid ones. They were effective, but she kept wheezing. So no go. She's ok with the vape mat, so that's also on in her room every night.




Blocking doorways
I really have no idea if the mozzies fly under the door to kiddo's room. Perhaps I give them too much credit for strategy and planning. But just in case, I sewed up a long tube, filled it with prefrozen green beans and plugged the bottom of the door. At least it keeps the air conditioning in...




Outdoor burners
You can get lovely burners and torches for citronella oil in most stores here. They look great, smell great too. But I don't think they work. I don't like smelling of smoke, so perhaps I'm just not near enough. Mozzie coils work well, but beware the feet. Accidentally brushing against one is funny only to your mates as they watch your frenzied leaping about.

Dishwashing liquid
I got an email from my mom. There was this article floating around saying that if you put lemon (only lemon, not lime or anything else) dishwashing liquid in some water in a WHITE dish, all the bugs would fly in. I did it. Bugs of all sorts did go in. Can't say it changed my life any though. Apart from having to avoid dishes of water in the room. If you do this, be prepared for very strange looks from your staff. Trying to explain it to my maid didn't work very well. Could be perhaps because she already thinks I don't play with a full deck.

Listerin spray
Another email gem. Dilute original (original 'cause the other flavours apparently leave a sticky residue) flavour listerin half and half in a spray bottle and spray around all entryways and where you're sitting. All I can say is if it's a hot day, the evaporation of the Listerin pretty much guarantees all living organisms in the vicinity end up rather dopey. Humans included! I ended up feeling like I'd had a couple of glasses of wine (I was VERY liberal with the spray). Maybe I was bitten, maybe not... Dunno. Hee... Couldn't even see straight... Suppose it could be effective in the open where the fumes are less likely to overpower you.

So far, that's all I've tried. Since I suppose you can't really avoid all bites, I have tubes of Eurax (see photo above), the most effective anti-itch cream around, all over the house. At last resort, there is also the pool. Our water supply comes from underground, and maybe it's the minerals, maybe the temperature (it's usually freezing even at noon), maybe both, but it works wonders at reducing the redness and swelling of bites.

Again, if anyone has any other methods of mosquito prevention, PLEASE TELL ME!!! I'll happily try (almost) anything...

Beat the traffic blues

I hate car journeys. I absolutely detest being stuck in the car for any longer than 30mins max. It's worse when I have to listen to the kid fidgeting and moaning. Endless 'are we there yet' and 'how many minutes more'. Grrr... We'll get there when we get there!!! For self preservation, I now do the following...

1. Have a decent sized bin in the car. Or at least one that fits the kid's bum. No matter how conscientious she is about peeing before we go out, Jakarta traffic means that sometimes, we get caught out. A friend uses left over diapers, gets the kids to go into the back row to pee in them. But it doesn't solve the occasional poop problem. 'Nuff said... Adults, you're on your own...
2. Teach the kids to have meals in the car. Was totally against the whole eating in the car business till we moved here. Now she's up at 630am, in the car and breakfasting at 7am. Pick her up at 1pm, and she finishes lunch in the car. It takes over an hour to get home, so if we wait, it's past 2pm by the time she eats.
3. Have wet wipes, hand sanitisers, tissues, spare newspapers, spare bin bags. This is really to facilitate the above.
4. Have small bottles of drinking water in the car. Even if you're not thirsty when you start your journey, after 3 hours of being stuck in the car, even the most stoic of passengers will be in need of a little something. The snack issue I leave to your own discretion. Food in the car sometimes means uninvited passengers like cockroaches...
5. Pack a bag of books before you go out. We've worked out that rainbow fairy books last about 45mins. So a minimum of 3 of those if we're going down the road for dinner. You never know. Traffic jams here can appear out of the blue for no reason known to man.
6. Pack a pillow. At the very least you can hide your head under it if the whining gets too unbearable. No, no... don't smother the kid/ husband, they're really not (I hope) trying to be difficult...
7. It's an advantage if you have a third row and/ or seats that recline. Believe me, no matter how much you adore your hubby, after 3 hours (or 3mins if he's particularly fractious that day) of sitting next to a fidgeting, complaining, overgrown kid, you would pay ANYTHING to have a back row. You're never too old for time out.
8. Some people swear by portable DVD's. For us it's the iPhones (GO APPLE!!!). With daddy in the car too, it's 2 iPhones. Someone has to do without, but it's never the kid. Her whining is worse than fingernails on chalkboard. We're waiting with baited breath for the Apple tablet thingey. Ooo... Defender chronicles on an A4 sized screen...
9. Books for adults too. I'm generally pretty prone to motion sickness, even the kiddy rides in the amusement parks can make me green. But traffic being what it is, sometimes I can get through 2 full length novels a day.
10. Remind yourself that despite the traffic, there are other fabulous things you get for living in Jakarta... maid(s), driver, cheap craft stuff, good food, nice house, good friends, endless malls... If all that fails, get out and take an Ojek. (Just KIDDING!! Unless you're a good deal braver than I am)

You know you've been in Jakarta too long when...

The following list is what I've noticed in no particular order...

1. You forget how to open and close doors.
2. You forget that going down to the corner shop shouldn't take 30mins.
3. You forget that you can actually walk 10m to the shop next door and not take the car.
4. You stop feeling self conscious at being greeted by rows of bowing sales people if you are the 1st person in a shop that morning.
5. You start to believe that traffic lights are advisory and not mandatory.
6. People saying 'tergantung' (depends) doesn't make your blood boil anymore.
7. You don't notice when people drop 'kok' into their sentences.
8. You don't lurch around the back seat in alarm anymore when you see oncoming traffic in your lane or people driving on the kerbs.
9. You think tipping more than Rp10,000 (USD1) for anything is a rip off.
10. You automatically assume everyone is nice and smiley, and feel very miffed if someone isn't.
11. You fantasize about playing a round of golf without once touching your golf ball (that came from The Man. Obviously)
12. You forget that there is a boot attached to the back of your car. Or that you need to load or unload it. Shopping magically disappears into it...
13. Your kid forgets what clean up means.
14. You feel a twinge of nervousness every time the maid goes off. Then another twinge on Sunday night thinking she may not come back.
15. You're the go to person whenever someone wants to buy anything esoteric.
16. You've run out of shopping centres to while away the school hours.
17. You now have a 'face' you have to put on every morning (moisturizer alone doesn't count)
18. You forget that you have house keys.
19. You go on holiday and are horrified when offered tap water to drink.
20. The signals and horn on your car are to be used as frequently as the brakes.
21. It no longer surprises you to see 1 kid, 1 nanny, 1 driver, 1 car families.
22. Bali as a holiday destination no longer excites you.
23. You stop being able to live without your (social not work) Blackberry.
24. You get used to reconnecting your internet 5 times an hour.
25. When you order something and are given a delivery date, you automatically add at least a week (a month for furniture) to it and are amazed if it is completed earlier.
26. You take for granted that trips to the immigration office take only 15mins.
27. You start to carry wet wipes in your travel cases not for kiddo, but to wipe off the chalk marks on your suitcases that customs put on to indicate a further check is warranted.
28. Your kid sings Bahasa songs as adeptly as standard nursery rhymes. Understanding is a different matter though.
29. You get used to schools having indoor tennis courts, swimming pools, multiple football fields, indoor basketball courts, multilevel auditoriums.
30. You realize that after writing the above list of 30 things, that it's just the tip of the iceberg, but are too tired to write anymore...

I *heart* my phones

All my adult life, I've been the proud bearer of whatever free or cheap phone came with my mobile subscription in London. Nothing fancy, not too many fancy geegaws if you please. Just phone and texting. Maybe the odd game thrown in for boredom busting during those long tube/ train journeys. Phones were for communication, little else. Then, we moved back to KL, and for whatever reason, I upgraded. Then again. And again. Finally ending up with the Samsung dual chip (1 chip for KL, 1 for Jakarta). I was honestly quite happy at that point. The Man had a blackberry (work), iPhone (social, but I was the only one who had the number!), and Palm Treo (KL). So mine were for communication, and his iPhone for the occasional games. Everyone happy right? So you would think.

2 years on. I now carry a blackberry AND an iPhone (Hubby's discard. He now has the new iPhone 3Gs or some such alphabet combo). Here in Jakarta, most folks go, 'Ya? What's your berry pin?' In KL, (usually from my parent's) the reaction goes something like that, '2 phones?? What for? You can only use 1 at a time! Not like earrings where you hang 1 on each ear!' (Last bit from my dad who carries an obsolete Nokia and gets furious if you change his ring tone 'cause he doesn't know how to change it back) Others say I should be in one camp or the other. Berry or iPhone, and never the twain shall meet. Well, the twain are meeting very well in our little family. Both daddy and mommy have Berrys and iPhones. In fact, I adore both my phones.

Initially, before I got my berry. Hubs and I had a little discussion weighing up the pros and cons of it. Seriously, why on earth would I need a Blackberry. Well, here in Jakarta, you can have unlimited data services using several of the prepaid providers. Mine is Telkomsel Simpati and I pay Rp180,000 (about USD18) for a month. In KL, I had to activate berry services on my Maxis postpaid line, and for unlimited data, it was well over RM100 (about USD30+) a month. Still, compared with about Rp60,000/month for only phone services, it was 3x the price... The unit itself cost Rp4.7mil (about USD 470) though, so not really more than my previous Samsung. So this is what we came up with in that little discussion: (assuming the package is unlimited)
1. Messaging between berry users is free
2. Messaging photos between berry users is free. Great for sending daddy photos of the stuff kiddo gets up to during the day. Sometimes I don't have my camera with me, but my phone, always.
3. Unlimited surfing all the time. Think 3 hour traffic jams and you begin to see how it might be a clincher in this discussion.
4. Most of my friends are on it. Makes it much easier to communicate. Especially since there is a status option that lets you post short messages. Saves the overseas roaming charges if your friends know not to call you when you're out of town.
5. My email goes straight there. No more missing important bank stuff because I couldn't be bothered to check my email.
6. Connection problem happen only rarely. So no cursing at the computer for disconnecting out of the blue.
7. Better relationships with family/ friends who live in other parts of the world who also carry berrys.

Ok, so there you go. I got me a berry... Now for the iPhone. Yes, yes, you're rolling your eyes. Still, I need something to stick my KL chip in, and since Hubby was upgrading to his iPhone alphabet soup, I might as well take his old iPhone right? See... Logic at it's best. Anyway, I love my iPhone too! Loads of fun applications to download from iTunes stores. Some free, some a couple of bucks. Lots of stuff for kids. I just downloaded a math program for kiddo that does addition and subtraction (Kidcalc). So what if I have to sit through endless kiddy voices saying, 'Twelve. Pumpkins. Minus. Three. Pumpkins. Equals. Nine. Pumpkins'...Kiddo likes it. And since math is really not her strongest subject, I guess it's good she's playing and learning at the same time.

As for me. I have my Defender Chronicles and Fieldrunners. 2 tower defense games that are so addictive it's not true. Think 2am fixed, bloodshot, stare at the little iPhone screen waiting to see if your 15th strategy of the night will keep the little scurrying enemies from reaching your home. Initially I would stare at them so hard that my lids would stick together if I tried to blink. Ugh. Let's not go there... Then there is the hypnotic game Enigmo, where you have to make all these little droplets of water bounce into a pot. And to cap it off, the puzzle game where you have to make a ladybird push boxes across the screen and avoid getting squashed by spiky balls (Ynth). Ooo... not to mention the penguin game where you crash penguins into polar bears (crazy penguin catapult) or the one where you have to milk your cows before they explode (milk panic)...

It's amusing at times when Hubby and I have to gather up all our phones and juggle them with other bits of paraphernalia just moving from one part of the house to another, but that's a tiny price to pay for the sheer enjoyment we get out of our phones...

Of Tai-Tais, Mai tais and steroetypical misconceptions

A few years ago in London after a dinner accompanied by copious amounts of wine, a few girlfriends (1 lawyer, 1 journalist, 1 accountant) and I decided that the pinnacle of our existence would be becoming Tai Tais. A Tai Tai, for my non Chinese speaking friends out there, is essentially a lady of leisure. She is married, to a rich man who supports her in style, is always beautiful and glamorous, and never has to bother with the mundane issues of daily life. Sounded heavenly to overworked, underpaid twentysomethings...

Fast forward a good few years (don't ask, I'm not telling how many). I'm now an expat-wife, a mom, have no job, but have a maid AND a driver. On the surface it looks like I have indeed attained the lofty heights of Tai Tai-dom... Cocktail lunches... Spa mornings... Look closer and the cracks in that perfect facade start to show. First of all, living in Indonesia means being surrounded with the genuine article. Women who are always perfectly coiffed and made up. Who would never be seen dead in shorts and t shirts, and who appear to float over the top of life's little speed bumps. This, after all, is the land of the 6am hair appointments. Heaven forbid one should appear at a breakfast meeting without perfect hair. I, on the other hand, live in my shorts and tees, avoid the hairdresser like the plague, not to mention only having a passing acquaintance with my hair brush, and most definitely hit all the speed bumps in life at full throttle. I try to be like a duck at these times, calm on the surface while paddling furiously underneath. As for cocktail lunches, I have no idea how that became part of the stereotype for expat wives. I'm sure they exist, but unfortunately not in my little sphere. Thankfully, I have found other 'ducks' to hang out with. Occasionally if I'm out for lunch (always with kiddo), I may see some absolutely gorgeous specimens of womanhood gathering together. The Indonesian term for these groups is 'Arisan'. They get together at a set times in different happening places for a meal, pool a set amount of money with one winner at each function. The winner's name is then removed until everyone has won once. Very fair. Prizes can be money, jewelry... the sky's the limit.

Getting to spas. I have to admit they're not for me. I find it really difficult lying there for any length of time while a virtual stranger touches my naked body. Call it Asian prudery if you will, but even after 10 years of living in the UK and travelling around world, I still get the urge to giggle and blush if confronted with topless sun bathers. So, no. I shall stick to reflexology on the odd occasions that my husband manages to convince me that sitting next to each other getting our feet poked at can be considered a romantic couples outing. For those who are interested, Kenko in Kemang Selatan (outlets also in several major shopping centres though prices will be higher) gives a pretty good foot and body rub for about Rp60,000 (about USD6). Best of all, you get to keep your clothes on! The man of the house also swears by Bersih Sehat near Pasar Mayestik. Apparently some big, older Indonesian lady walks up and down your back. I can't for the life of me see how that can be nice, but there you go...

So.. going back to our group of 4... Married, tick. Rich men, um...., half tick? Beautiful and glamorous, maybe them, but the only beauty and glamor I'm acquainted with is Vogue magazine. Not having to deal with mundane issues, ha! Don't make me laugh... my whole life revolves around the mundane. What will the kid have for dinner? Hmm... rice/pasta, roast/steamed chicken, broccoli, egg. Again, and again, and yet again...

So, for now, let me just raise my low sugar winter melon in a box to all you Tai Tais out there...