5.5 going on 15

Disclaimer : If you don't want to hear totally nonobjective ramblings of a proud Mummy. Don't read any further...

A couple of things happened with the kid this week that I just have to record for posterity. Am still trying to work out how I should react to them, but have decided that for the time being, I'll just channel Yoda (small and silent unless he has something profound to say)...

1) Kiddo has 2 favourite dresses and a shirt/shorts combo that she will wear in preference to absolutely anything else. I'm not kidding. We've tried hiding them, delaying the washing... Nothing works. She will very calmly ask the maid to please wash it today so she can wear it tomorrow. Anyway, I was gazing upon her stuffed wardrobe, eyeing the lovely (expensive) clothes she has and decided that it was time for a little chat about this clothes issue. We went through colours ('it's not about the colour, mom'), flowers ('I just like the flowers on these, mom'), beads ('this one has pretty beads')... Finally, she just looked at me and said, 'Mom, you just can't POSSIBLY persuade me to change my mind...' Accompanied by an exasperated eye roll!! Uh. Dumbstruck mummy. Do I laugh at the statement, or yell about the eye rolling? That night The Man and I had a little discussion on how we would have worded this differently... 'Oi! I'm not changing my mind-lah!' was the general consensus on how we would have responded. Proud mummy was on one hand thinking what a grammatically elegant statement that was, on the other thinking 'Oh no, my kid can out-talk me at 5 and a half!! And what's with the whole eye rolling thing?! '

2) I've always known that kiddo is an advanced reader. After all, she read our Bill Bryson Aussie commentary when she ran out of books on holiday. So I decided to test her using the Sonlight homeschool reading assessment. My biggest worry is always selecting books with the appropriate content for a 5-6 year old. And Sonlight does provide some guidelines on book selection based on age/level. So there we were, reading through lists of words that are supposed to gauge reading readiness. 5 minutes later, kiddo had read all the words including those for level 7 (roughly age 13). The test stops there as beyond that, ability is no longer the limiting factor. Again, befuddled mummy. Then she turned to me and said, 'Mom, what's dominion, and sundry, and capillary and condescend...' Out of the 10 words, she understood none of them!! Ok, ok, some of them even I would have trouble explaining, but my most immediate thought was, 'Crap, what happens if she hasn't understood ANY of the gajillion books we've spent so much money on??' Response to my suddenly rabid insistence that she ask my about ANY word she doesn't understand from now on, 'But I haven't come across a word I don't know in a really long time mom.' So, I've decided that I shall be guided by the Sonlight curriculum and we shall have 'together' reading time so I can make sure she understands at least some of what she reads.

After all this,I feel like a totally inadequate mother. Either I'm complaining she's too mature and out talking me, or that she behaving like a toddler and whining. Poor kid...

I can picture Yoda in my head, perching upon a rock, swivelly ears, walking stick, googly eyes... 'Calm, you must be... For, though smart, child, she be...'

Randon Musings....

Why is it if I give my life for my family I'm a martyr?
Why do I get called overprotective if I'm concerned for my child?

Why is being godly the same as being holier than thou?
And why am I fussy if I choose to be particular?

Being aware of my health REALLY doesn't make my a hypochondriac,
And how does being cautious of strangers mean I'm paranoid?

Does wanting the best for myself mean that I'm selfish?
Does wanting the best for my child mean that I'm demanding?

If my methods of organization differ from yours, why am I the messy one?
If I enjoy certain things done a certain way, how does that make me obsessive-compulsive?

If you speak your mind, you're direct;
If I speak my mind, I'm rude.

How come when you refuse to be budged you're persistent,
but when I refuse I'm obstinate?

When you think, you're a philosopher;
When I think, I'm neurotic.

So if I'm a thinking, concerned, cautious, stay-at-home-mom;
Does that then mean I'm a neurotic, overprotective, paranoid martyr...?

Race throught the last month

The last month has been very, very hectic... Hong Kong for 4 days, our maid sacking herself (don't ask, a very long and winding road leading to nowhere), a week of being 'mummy-maid', capped by almost 2 fabulous weeks in Japan. Am in the process of downloading the photos. And when I do, it'll be skiing, Disneyland and FOOD!! From now on Japan=Food. Till then...!

I have also come to a conclusion... It is virtually impossible to satisfy your family. No matter what you do as a stay-at-home mom, it will never be enough. When we didn't have the maid, it was endless complaints of laundry taking a long time, missing items, stuff not cleaned up to standard, me being tired, me being in a bad mood (Kiddo devised a 'mood monitor', with 4 options for angry, so she wouldn't have to ask me how I felt 'cause sometimes mummy, your face is just like that, not happy, not sad...' *slap forehead*)... When we DID have the maid, it was complaints about the maid misplacing things, not doing something or the other... Sigh... I give up. 6 of one, half a dozen of the other. Sometime I really want to do the whole Exorcist head spinning thing, then maybe I won't get bugged so much!! Arrrggghhh! As a friend said to me, 'They get used to being pampered and having you deal with everything.' Well, the new maid just started work today. From now on , if I get anymore complaints, I shall say, 'Tough. Do it yourself!'

By the way, I DO love my family...

Back to reality

It's been an amazing Christmas holiday for us. But we're finally back to real life here in Jakarta. One could argue, though, that we are definitely not living in 'reality'. After all, how real can it be when I expect to be picked up and dropped off right at my doorstep? Or, I get annoyed that I have to carry the kid's bags to the car myself? Sure, if one were a billionaire it would be second nature, but we're just normal people... Hard to imagine just a few days ago I was loading and unloading shopping trolleys at carrefour all by myself, and driving around KL looking for parking spaces.

Anyway... We're back to our usual routine, and I shall remind myself that it's totally normal if clothes don't reappear in the closet the day after I chuck them in the wash basket.

Yesterday was kiddo's first day of school. Why a Wednesday? No idea. Except it gave me an extra day in KL, which is always welcome. Waking up was a real chore. Bleary eyes, incoherent speech, uncoordinated limbs... That was me, by the way. The kiddo was so excited with her new alarm clock that she practically leaped out of bed when it rang. Oh, to be young again and actually look forward to alarm clocks!

She also signed up for extra swim classes at the apartment we live in. 'But it's soooo much fun mom!' and also piano classes. 'I looovvveeee the piano!' Yes, we seem to have entered the age of exclamations...

I've come back to my crafty little haven. 3 weeks with no supplies and I was definitely suffering withdrawal symptoms. Eventually made a paper mache bowl just for something to do. Pathetic. At least now I'm back to having a whole bunch of new things to fiddle with. Thanks to finding supplies in the most unexpected places. Craft-haven on the 1Utama 2nd floor promenade would count as a big find this trip home. Together with the online store scrap-n-crop... Who says if you can't do, teach? If you can't do, SHOP! Hee.

Things I need to get on with now... Blog about Werner, restauranteur extraordinaire; finish my crochet projects before the japan trip; photograph my crafty things BEFORE giving them away, penguins...

End of the bazaar season

Well, this is IT for me. My bazaar season (as a vendor) officially ended at 1pm today in ANZA house. Phew... Am pooped. It's pretty difficult repeating a sales pitch over and over again for up to 4 hours. Hats off to traveling salespeople who do this for a living.

At last total, the orphanage will get in the region of about Rp3.5mil (USD350) from my 2 bazaars and 1 coffee morning. Wish it were more, but I was already encouraging shoppers to round up sales with additional items. Short of randomly grabbing strangers off the path and forcibly removing cash from their wallets, I don't think I could have done better. As hubby likes to say,'Small ticket items give you small profits!'.

I did, however, meet LOADS of people this time. More so than any other previous bazaar. To be honest, the bazaars are my way of meeting people I wouldn't otherwise encounter. Some have turned out to be great friends, others have introduced me to new interests... I love the saying 'A stranger is but a friend you haven't met yet'.

It's off to the Sambolo Beach bungalows for us on Thursday and the move to the new apartment next Wednesday. Busy, busy, busy... Give me my G&T!!

Eye of the hurricane

It's Saturday. For a change, we're all 3 of us at home just chilling. No looming business trips, nothing particularly pressing. Just our little family enjoying some family time. Ok, at least we're in the same room. Kiddo is reading (as usual), The Man is fiddling with his NEW bike (it sounds like an arthritic old goat. Clackity clackety...) and I'm trying to build mountains on my farmville game...

Next week the chaos starts. Bazaar on Tuesday, coffee morning at ANZA (Aus and NZ womens' association) on Fri, Bazaar again the following Tuesday, long weekend away that Thursday with some great friends to Sambolo. The week after that, we'll be moving to the apartment. Yay!!! I shall be even more a duck than I usually am (why duck? Read the blog description above...).

Yesterday the kiddo had her 2nd lot of boosters. MMR and Varicella. Very stoic through the 1st one with only an 'Ooowwww' at the end. But the 2nd one? Oh my goodness... You would've thought the doctor was skinning her. The howling and wailing...! My poor baby. Worst thing is next month she has a typhoid jab to go for. Sigh. I bought her a bunch of new books as a little reward for the jabs (I know, I know, wasn't supposed to buy anything before the move... But she was such a sad little thing when she found out she had jabs... *sob*). And it DID smooth everything over...

The rest of today shall be family time. Much anticipated since Daddy has been away so much in the last 2 months. Nice lunch at the club... BBQ dinner... Wine... Keep repeating to self, 'I will not obsess about next week, I will not obsess about next week...'

Out of the mouths of babes

I just HAD to write this down before I forget it. Never mind that I'd give a kidney for my bed right now.

Tonight, right after bath time as I was snipping kiddo's nails, she suddenly turned to me and said, 'Mummy, when I grow up, I want to be a doctor.' Ok, nothing new there, but knowing my experience and with the benefit of a bunch of horrific over night shifts behind me, I calmly (while yelling 'No! No! No!' inside) said, 'Well, it's a lot of hard work you know, and mummy decided I'd rather spend my time with you and Daddy. BUT, you can do whatever you want...!' Never forget equality and female emancipation! Nor hold your kids back because of your own prejudices... So say all the books. Kiddo replied, 'That's ok, then I'll just be a teacher, like you. But I also want to be a scientist... So I'll be a doctor 1st, then a teacher when I get tired of being a doctor, then a scientist when I get tired of being a teacher!' Um. Well. 'Kiddo, it's hard to earn money if you keep changing jobs like that you know. And it takes a long time to study for each thing, so why don't you have a good think about it. You have plenty of time to decide.' Reply, 'Hmmm, yes, I also want to earn lots of coins like daddy.' Ulp. Too much farmville perhaps? Then, 'That's ok, I'll just stay home like you. And do stuff I like. Like being a doctor, a teacher, a scientist...' Me (out-talked by now), 'Baby, you can't earn money by staying home and just working a bit here and there you know...' Kid, 'You do.' Urk!! Beleaguered mummy, 'Mummy was very blessed because daddy makes enough money so I can stay home to look after my little baby.' Kid, 'That's ok, I'll just stay at home and be your grown-up little baby...!' Me (in a bit of a panic now), 'Where are you going to get your money from?' Answer, 'Daddy.' *slams head against the wall* What have I done?!?!

Drama over the weekend

Daddy is home!! A whole day early. He actually got in yesterday morning. Early enough for us to go to church and for him to go for a massage. The flight was apparently uneventful, except they lost his bike case containing his brand new, custom fitted, practically rides itself bike! Not to mention the little princess' leapster unit that she has been waiting months for. Disaster! There was a lot of calling around to no avail till we managed to get the number of a friend of a friend who is really senior in SIA Indonesia. Following that, The Man started receiving updates every time a SIA plane landed, right up till the last plane came in. Don't ask me what time that was, I was already dopey half asleep. Nothing, nothing, nothing.... Till this morning when the case was delivered to our house. And I wondered why they hadn't just chucked the dratted thing into the ocean. It's HUGE!!! According to Ibu I our maid, it took 2 people to unload! How embarrassing. And he wants to tote it around for triathlons... All I can say is, there's my shopping weight gone... Anyway, thanks N!

We also picked up the 4 shoe boxes that our family is filling for a couple of orphanages supported by our church. The instructions are Rp100k-150k (USD10-15) per box. Now anywhere else in the world and you'd probably think that would mean some stationary, sweets, that's it. But so far, I've managed to put in pencils, erasers, color pencils, markers, highlighters, exercise books, toothbrushes, toothpaste, lollipops, fluorescent stars, Koko krunch, coloring books and a cartoon instruction book (both courtesy of Office 2000 in Kemang). And I still have 100k to spare. Going to see how much more that can buy...

No school today...

It was Teacher's Day yesterday, and the school gave everyone a day off today. I went to bed last night with a certain sense of trepidation. What to do all day with the kid? She had her booster jab yesterday so I thought, perhaps nothing overly strenuous...

She woke at 715am. Ugh. I was really hoping for more of a lie in. Channeling evil mummy (twice in 2 days!!), I decided to leave her be. There was singing and story telling and goodness knows what else, but the guilt kicked in at 745am and I went in. Happily she was still involved in whatever story she had made up using her stuffed toys and wasn't bothered at all that mummy had been too lazy to go get her.

Then followed breakfast, reading, boochie ball, reading, country story, farmville, cafe world. Time check 1030am. Sigh. We went over to my friend (and neighbour) AL's house and spent an hour playing with her almost a year old Liverpool footie player in the making. He certainly moves as quickly as one! After all that, it was still only 1130am. Mummy, exhausted. Kiddo, still on full battery.

Lunch at Fj's on Jalan Kemang Raya (opposite Moms and I) was a lovely little girlie outing for us. Admittedly we stood out among the ladies (and gents) who lunched, but who cares. Kiddo had food packed from home, as she has had for the last 4.5 years whenever we eat somewhere not Japanese or Chinese. Mummy had the most fabulous 'mixed coloured pepper (actually, red, yellow and orange only) and prawn pasta'. A large deviation from my usual 'chicken and mushroom in cream sauce'. Note to self... keep working through the menu!!

We then dropped by my friendly tailor to pick up more breast feeding covers for the Christmas bazaars. As usual, delays. Not surprised. Would have been more surprised if he had actually handed them to me straight off. No matter, I usually build in a good 2 weeks extra for things like that. Not that I'll ever tell him. He's been in the process of making a blouse for me for over 6 months now. Here's hoping he still remembers what I want.

At this point, mummy's battery indicator was flashing red, and kiddo, predictably, was reading in the car. So, seeing as we had joined the usual Friday afternoon 'macet' (traffic jam), I decided to nap. Yay for books! Eventually the 500m 2min journey ended up over a km (diversions etc) and more than 30mins.

The rest of the day was just more of the same. Except kiddo did it all on her own 'cause mummy carried on napping after we got home! Kiddo eventually woke me at 4pm, 'Um, mummy, is it 4? Can I watch Diego?' Oops...

We did manage to speak, via skype, to my mom and grandma, followed by Uncle SH from Perth. So nice to catch up. Grandma has gone from Singapore to stay with my mom in KL and has apparently developed an addiction for televised tennis. She stopped watching the Shanghai Open for only a few minutes to say hi, then it was back to the telly. It's baffling since she has never EVER shown the slightly interest in sports of any kind... Maybe she and kiddo can play together. Probably the same standard... Speaking to Uncle SH is always interesting. He and Auntie YM are going to do the 'snow goose project' as she calls it and go live in New Zealand for the next 3 years, then the US I think. Not sure if there's some European bit thrown in too. Hats off... Anyway, he was saying that he watched some gardening show and learnt how to make the most effective anti bug mixture that was totally chemical free. Crush garlic into a jar of normal cooking oil and leave for a few days, strain and mix into water using a 1 (oil mix) : 20 (water) proportion. Spray liberally. He feels it's more effective than commercial pesticides and only smells a little if you go very near. I'd try it if I had plants...

All in all. We had a very nice day. Next time I'll make it a point to sleep extra early if the kid's got an extra day off. In retrospect, off days are more tiring than school days...

Amusing thoughts while husband is away on business...

Last night while lying in bed desperately trying to fall asleep after having, again, dropped off for a mini nap at 10, I considered the differences between having my beloved husband home vs. away on business...

Pros :

• Not getting woken up by his alarm at 530am on weekdays (work) and 430am on Sundays (running).
  
• Not having to restrict myself to 6 inches of bed to accommodate his sprawling. Mind you, we have a king sized bed, and before that, a queen. Regardless of the size of the bed, I always get only 6 inches. Never realized how big a king actually is until last night when I lay on my side and stretched my leg aallll the way over to his side and STILL couldn't reach the edge. I guess a 6 footer requires more space then a 5 foot 1-er...
  
• Not having to mediate between him and the kid when they wind each other up.
• Being able to hop off shopping at the weekends. Hubs HATES shopping, so we rarely go with him. And it's great fun shopping with kiddo. She's has the funniest observations. We were shopping for stuff to put in an orphanage gift box today and she suggested some flowers because, 'they're sooo pretty and it'll make the little girl feel better...'
• Being able to eat leftovers if I feel like it
• Not having to fight over the computer.
  

Cons :

• No one to talk to who doesn't occasionally whine like a steam engine with rusty breaks.
• Having to answer all the 'why' questions on my own without being able to say to daddy, 'tag you're it'.
• No one to talk to at the end of the day.
• No one to talk to in the middle of the day
• No one to show all my little crafty bits who will always say they're nice even if they suck. I always know anyway, he gets that deer caught in headlights look when he wants to say something's horrid but is afraid I'll get really upset by it.

I fell asleep at that point... Unfortunately, this periodic separation is part and parcel of the job. I miss my honey, but he loves his job and we get to enjoy lovely things because of it. So I just tell myself to enjoy that lovely big bed when he's away and (try, very, very hard) not to complain (too much) when he's around. After all, a couple of weeks every few months is small enough price to pay. And, tonight, I shall sleep in the MIDDLE of the bed...