Of Tai-Tais, Mai tais and steroetypical misconceptions

A few years ago in London after a dinner accompanied by copious amounts of wine, a few girlfriends (1 lawyer, 1 journalist, 1 accountant) and I decided that the pinnacle of our existence would be becoming Tai Tais. A Tai Tai, for my non Chinese speaking friends out there, is essentially a lady of leisure. She is married, to a rich man who supports her in style, is always beautiful and glamorous, and never has to bother with the mundane issues of daily life. Sounded heavenly to overworked, underpaid twentysomethings...

Fast forward a good few years (don't ask, I'm not telling how many). I'm now an expat-wife, a mom, have no job, but have a maid AND a driver. On the surface it looks like I have indeed attained the lofty heights of Tai Tai-dom... Cocktail lunches... Spa mornings... Look closer and the cracks in that perfect facade start to show. First of all, living in Indonesia means being surrounded with the genuine article. Women who are always perfectly coiffed and made up. Who would never be seen dead in shorts and t shirts, and who appear to float over the top of life's little speed bumps. This, after all, is the land of the 6am hair appointments. Heaven forbid one should appear at a breakfast meeting without perfect hair. I, on the other hand, live in my shorts and tees, avoid the hairdresser like the plague, not to mention only having a passing acquaintance with my hair brush, and most definitely hit all the speed bumps in life at full throttle. I try to be like a duck at these times, calm on the surface while paddling furiously underneath. As for cocktail lunches, I have no idea how that became part of the stereotype for expat wives. I'm sure they exist, but unfortunately not in my little sphere. Thankfully, I have found other 'ducks' to hang out with. Occasionally if I'm out for lunch (always with kiddo), I may see some absolutely gorgeous specimens of womanhood gathering together. The Indonesian term for these groups is 'Arisan'. They get together at a set times in different happening places for a meal, pool a set amount of money with one winner at each function. The winner's name is then removed until everyone has won once. Very fair. Prizes can be money, jewelry... the sky's the limit.

Getting to spas. I have to admit they're not for me. I find it really difficult lying there for any length of time while a virtual stranger touches my naked body. Call it Asian prudery if you will, but even after 10 years of living in the UK and travelling around world, I still get the urge to giggle and blush if confronted with topless sun bathers. So, no. I shall stick to reflexology on the odd occasions that my husband manages to convince me that sitting next to each other getting our feet poked at can be considered a romantic couples outing. For those who are interested, Kenko in Kemang Selatan (outlets also in several major shopping centres though prices will be higher) gives a pretty good foot and body rub for about Rp60,000 (about USD6). Best of all, you get to keep your clothes on! The man of the house also swears by Bersih Sehat near Pasar Mayestik. Apparently some big, older Indonesian lady walks up and down your back. I can't for the life of me see how that can be nice, but there you go...

So.. going back to our group of 4... Married, tick. Rich men, um...., half tick? Beautiful and glamorous, maybe them, but the only beauty and glamor I'm acquainted with is Vogue magazine. Not having to deal with mundane issues, ha! Don't make me laugh... my whole life revolves around the mundane. What will the kid have for dinner? Hmm... rice/pasta, roast/steamed chicken, broccoli, egg. Again, and again, and yet again...

So, for now, let me just raise my low sugar winter melon in a box to all you Tai Tais out there...