What you really, REALLY need to know when you see a doctor

I was thinking back to our little trip to the doctor's for kiddo's vaccinations last week. First thing he asked me was, 'Where are her old records?' Oops. Um. In KL. And a copy with the school. But honest, guv, I can tell you what she had... Well, Doctor L was not impressed. He didn't tell me off but the ole brainbox was probably muttering something about mothers knowing better... So I came home and had a little think about it. I put myself (figuratively!! No dress up for me, please) back in my white coat (not that we really wore one that much... white coats and ties have been shown to be the largest germ collectors around) and stethoscope and thought about the information I always wanted my patients to have when they came in the room. Trust me, 'Isn't it in the records?' is NOT an answer.

First off, for kids, especially families moving all over the world, is a copy of the vaccination records. Try and stick to one place for jabs in any one country. And at the very least, have a list of all the vaccinations given. I have a friend who's kid has had vaccinations in about 5 different countries, and now at the age of 5, poor mummy can't remember what was given last year in the US. This record is pretty important because different countries have different vaccination schedules. So if you say, '5yr old jabs, Doctor' to someone working in a country with no 5 yr old jabs, but with 4 and 6yr old jabs, then good luck.

Next is a list of current medications and current illnesses. Saying, 'I've got arthritis and I take this little beigy pill' is not helpful in any way at all. Seriously, how many beigy pills do you think are out there? Answer, too many that fit your description. And all doing different things. It's a bit of work, but one of my ex-patients who got fed up of doctors giving her exasperated looks did the following. x illness - a, b, c drugs; y illness - d, e, f drugs. Amazingly helpful. She also put a list of drugs that didn't work on the list next to each condition. Made life so much easier... Crucial for kids with recurrent illnesses like asthma. It's useful to know what the kid needs under what circumstance. And how much. Big difference between puffing once a week and 3 times a day...

That brings us to the medical profession's favourite (not) question, 'any illnesses that run in the family?' At this point, we're cringing, waiting for the deluge of information about granduncle so and so's wife's cousin's daughter's blah blah. If your doctor's eyes are glazing over, you've gone too far. We need only blood family, folks. So NOT your spouse or their family, ok (unless you're bringing your kid to the paed, then your spouse's family history is relevant). Spousal issues are covered somewhere else. We need, succintly please, illnesses that seem to affect more than one generation. Or if there are 2 or more of the same condition within the extended family. Of note, you have to inform your doctor about cancers and genetic illnesses. It's useful to know what grandparents have passed from, and of course, any illnesses that your parents have. Doctors will usually ask about heart disease and cancers. But it's useful knowing about allergic symptoms that run in the family, e.g. asthma, excema etc. And some families do tend to have odd ailments running about. Trust me, I would know, our family has an odd nerve condition that only 1 neurologist in KL (ours) knows about. And that's because she had to go research this weird condition that initially affected both my dad and aunt. So when I went to see her with a bit of the same, her reply was, 'Oh yes... you have xyz (I certainly never studied it in med school!!). I can stick this ginormous needle into your arm and give you a confirmation. No?? Go read up the website then, you're ok for now.' Huh... Thanks, Doc.

Finally, my personal fav, 'Do you have any allergies?' The number of suddenly dumbstruck faces I've seen is mind boggling. 'Um, my mom said...' 'My mom is...' (No mate, you. Not your mom) 'Um. Wait while I call my mom' 'My mom never told me...' 'Let me ask my wife...' (your wife?!?) 'I, think, perhaps...' If you have never had a reaction and your mom has never said anything to you. It's reasonable to say, 'Not that I know off.' See... effortless. And if you have had a reaction, please remember what kind. E.g. If you swelled up and couldn't breathe, that's likely an allergy. Diarrhoea is not an allergy to an antibiotic, but if the last time you were given it you had explosive ejections (from anywhere!) for a week and felt like a dog, then it probably would be better to try another drug. Contrary to popular belief, doctors are not sadists and generally try to avoid the 'killing is better than the cure' scenario.

Well, I hope that was amusing and vaguely helpful. As for me, I'm going to take myself off and prepare to approach the school tomorrow for a copy of the copy of Kiddo's vaccination records...