Mr.D: A law unto himself

Since I wrote the last post, I thought I'd do one on Mr.D our driver. He's worked for us for 2 years, has 3 kids all 7 years apart and is genuinely a very nice guy. Just as a quick example, when the Ritz and Marriot bombs went off a few months ago, he had actually just dropped Hubs at work and was on his way back to the house. Upon hearing the news, he did an about turn and went straight back to the office calling Hubs to say he was waiting downstairs if Sir wanted to go home straightaway. Unfortunately Sir didn't. Sir also missed his plane back to KL that day leaving madam fuming! But that's another story...

So, yes, Mr.D, wonderful chap. But he has some really strange interpretations of traffic law. Most baffling is how he uses traffic lights. How difficult can that be? I hear you say. And 'he uses'? Must be a grammatical error, you say again. Under usual circumstances I would agree. I mean, red=stop, amber=stop asap (or go faster if you're Malaysian), green=go. Basic highway code. Not for Mr.D!! For him, traffic lights work like this... Red=Stop if it's convenient. But go if it's a jam, otherwise you'll never get a chance to go anyway. Go if there are no cars because there's no point stopping anyway. Oh, and it doesn't apply if you're turning left or if you're turning either direction while on a one way street. Amber=go. Green=go. In other words, go as and when you like. It used to have me at the edge of the seat yelling, 'Berhenti, berhenti!!' (Stop, stop). But now, after many months and much futility, I have decided that I shall just ignore it. He just laughs at me anyway.

The next thing is the whole flashy high-lights thing he does. If the car in front stops, he flashes the lights. If he thinks they should be going faster and aren't, he flashes. If they slow down, he flashes. If he's in a hurry and joins the back of a queue, he flashes. I tried counting how many times he flashed the head lights for one 10min journey. Lost count. Couldn't keep up. I have to say though, all the other drivers on the road do it too, so it's hard to say if it's just him or a Jakarta phenomenon. You have to get used to the 'chicka-chicka-chicka' sound pretty quickly though, or go crazy. At least it's not the horns....

All in all, despite his little foibles. We haven't any serious dings on the car. The Man put a couple on there, but they are NOT TO BE SPOKEN OF. Got hit by a golf ball while driving past the golf range, but one can hardly blame that on him. So... Carry on Jeeves, or in this case, Drive on Mr.D...