You know you've been in Jakarta too long when...

The following list is what I've noticed in no particular order...

1. You forget how to open and close doors.
2. You forget that going down to the corner shop shouldn't take 30mins.
3. You forget that you can actually walk 10m to the shop next door and not take the car.
4. You stop feeling self conscious at being greeted by rows of bowing sales people if you are the 1st person in a shop that morning.
5. You start to believe that traffic lights are advisory and not mandatory.
6. People saying 'tergantung' (depends) doesn't make your blood boil anymore.
7. You don't notice when people drop 'kok' into their sentences.
8. You don't lurch around the back seat in alarm anymore when you see oncoming traffic in your lane or people driving on the kerbs.
9. You think tipping more than Rp10,000 (USD1) for anything is a rip off.
10. You automatically assume everyone is nice and smiley, and feel very miffed if someone isn't.
11. You fantasize about playing a round of golf without once touching your golf ball (that came from The Man. Obviously)
12. You forget that there is a boot attached to the back of your car. Or that you need to load or unload it. Shopping magically disappears into it...
13. Your kid forgets what clean up means.
14. You feel a twinge of nervousness every time the maid goes off. Then another twinge on Sunday night thinking she may not come back.
15. You're the go to person whenever someone wants to buy anything esoteric.
16. You've run out of shopping centres to while away the school hours.
17. You now have a 'face' you have to put on every morning (moisturizer alone doesn't count)
18. You forget that you have house keys.
19. You go on holiday and are horrified when offered tap water to drink.
20. The signals and horn on your car are to be used as frequently as the brakes.
21. It no longer surprises you to see 1 kid, 1 nanny, 1 driver, 1 car families.
22. Bali as a holiday destination no longer excites you.
23. You stop being able to live without your (social not work) Blackberry.
24. You get used to reconnecting your internet 5 times an hour.
25. When you order something and are given a delivery date, you automatically add at least a week (a month for furniture) to it and are amazed if it is completed earlier.
26. You take for granted that trips to the immigration office take only 15mins.
27. You start to carry wet wipes in your travel cases not for kiddo, but to wipe off the chalk marks on your suitcases that customs put on to indicate a further check is warranted.
28. Your kid sings Bahasa songs as adeptly as standard nursery rhymes. Understanding is a different matter though.
29. You get used to schools having indoor tennis courts, swimming pools, multiple football fields, indoor basketball courts, multilevel auditoriums.
30. You realize that after writing the above list of 30 things, that it's just the tip of the iceberg, but are too tired to write anymore...